Mother’s Day – Creating and Sharing Bonds

Mother’s Day – Creating and Sharing Bonds

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and my family has even more to celebrate this year as my sister has joined the motherhood club!  I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world to come from such a close family. Besides some typical rocky times during our teenage years, my siblings and I have always been extremely good friends—the “hang out because we want to, not because we have to” kind of friends—and, especially as adults now, are all very close with our mom.

When I became a mom just over eight years ago, one of the best parts was seeing how proud my family was of me. My son was born on my own birthday and I was not exactly thrilled about that. But when I saw the tears in my mom’s eyes and she said, “It is so awesome that we both had babies on the same date,” my perspective changed immediately; my bond with my mom changed with it.  No longer was I just her daughter or even friend; I was now part of an exclusive club, and I could tell by the look in my mom’s eyes that membership was something special. I could now tap into a side of my mom that I had never explored before, asking her questions about diapers and feeding schedules, or just sitting back and listening to her tell stories from when my siblings and I were babies. Without becoming a mother myself, I never would have had the opportunity to talk with my mom about these things; a huge aspect of her identity would have been completely lost on me since I couldn’t relate. Becoming a parent, however one chooses to do so, immediately provides common ground among other parents.  This is kind of hard to explain because this shift isn’t really visible to others, but it is almost like having an inside joke with an old friend. Except the other person doesn’t have to be an old friend, and the joke isn’t always funny. I discovered that secret inner *thing* with my mom, with the understanding looks and the knowing sighs.

My siblings also looked at me differently for a while. My brothers both cried like babies (sorry, guys) and my sister looked like she was in shock and thought I was the strongest person in the world. It was great to feel so impressive! Although becoming a parent did change me in some ways, I didn’t think it really affected my relationships with my siblings, since they couldn’t relate on that level. As the years have gone by, I have watched them grow into the most amazing aunt and uncles a kid could ask for. When my sister had a baby girl a few weeks ago, I saw those same looks of wonder on my brothers’ faces, and realized I had the look, too. I finally saw what they saw eight years ago, and it was incredibly moving. I watched my sister morph into the most powerful woman on the planet, even if just for a short time. I watched my brother-in-law melt with emotion as his entire world shifted gears, forever changed. Every time I see one of them holding Piper, I get a rush of pride that I can’t believe other people have felt for me, too. I now exchange knowing looks with my brothers, each of us trying to choke back tears. Mother's Day - Piper

But I get a bonus that my brothers just can’t understand: I now get to share with my sister what I have been sharing with my mom all these years. I get to share a secret bond that she didn’t even know existed, and I couldn’t be happier to welcome my sister to this club. My sister and I, along with our wonderful mom, are now bonded in a way that we never were before; we are all moms! It is such a crazy and exciting feeling to know that each of us has experienced the joy/pain/pride of entering into the world of motherhood. And someday, if and when our kids become parents, my sister and I will finally understand just how much this has meant to our own mom.

So, this Mother’s Day, take some time to celebrate all the moms in your life and recognize the special bonds we share.

I know I’m looking forward to my eighth Mother’s Day and my family can’t wait to help my sister ring in her first!Mother's Day

Comments

  1. Candice-
    This is so beautiful:) I am proud of you everyday and I know that we share a bond also…as long time friends but also as mamas! No matter how far or how much time has past between us, know I Love ya and our boys are so lucky to have such great moms in their lives:) happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy your time with your family and tell them all Hi from me!!!!!
    McKenzie

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